There is a stillness growing within me. It is a gift that I am happy to embrace. The last few weeks have been quite difficult for a lot of us. Whether it is written in the stars and planets or the bristling energies of our wonderfully human lives, it hasn’t been easy. I am constantly reminding myself that this is the process of discovery – of myself, my relationships, and my magick. I chose to walk this path of self-exploration and sometimes I just need to stop my routine and take a break. The breaks aren’t just are for self-care. They are a chance for me to stop and listen to what my heart, body, and soul have to say. Sometimes, that means a change in our routine must take place in order to create room for what is to come. This may be one of those times.
Sometimes I wake up with a calm, centered feeling that keeps getting stronger as the day grows longer. Today wasn’t one of those days. This morning was a bit jumbled, leaving me feeling out of sorts. Even with the windows open and the gentle morning breeze breathing life into my room as the sun streamed in, the dust of odd dreams and a restless sleep clung to me as I tried to shake myself free from them. My typical morning practices to clear and center myself did not have the optimal results. So, an early morning drive to the ocean was the next attempt to shift whatever this was that swirled around me.
The sun was warm on my face and it felt so good. The salty air swept around my body, embracing me. The woosh of the waves racing across the sand and tiny pebbles of the rocky beach echoed like a thousand little rattles announcing its arrival. A walk along the shoreline and connecting to the ocean’s depths felt so right yet, the feeling I awoke with still held me in its silence. When I sat on the swing at the beach, I began to realize that I needed to just allow the feelings to be felt. The uncomfortable pangs that were rippling through my body needed to be experienced. So, with a breath and the rocking back and forth on the swing, I allowed them to come.
Uncertainty, frustration, doubt, and even some fears surfaced. What came forward in those moments, will not have answers in the foreseeable future. I will need to trust that things will work out for the best, no matter the outcome. I know this path has many twists and turns. It is never straight forward. Some things are completely out of our control, whether we like it or not. What we do have control over is how we deal with the experiences. That is how we can choose our direction. But for now, I find myself in a deeply reflective mood. Words are hard to come by. That is perfectly okay.
From this experience and so many others, I am learning a lot as explore deeper within myself. I am learning that I don’t always need to talk or to get caught up in the rhythms of the outside world. Instead, I find myself listening to the stillness and silence more often. There are days that I crave it. My inner landscapes as well as the world around me have so much to say. Something softer and more subtle has been coming forward, requiring my attention. A small voice calls to me. It is not with words or commands. It does not issue tasks or even criticisms. It is a voice that stirs from the depths of me. It is a feeling that can sometimes speak. Once it receives the recognition it deserves, a comforting wave of emotion washes over me. By recognizing today’s anxious pangs and giving myself some space, unnamed anxieties and frustrations were released, opening a pathway into what can be. This was a gift of acceptance; an acceptance of myself. If I did not give myself the space I needed this morning, that acceptance, the wave of compassion, might not have been felt. The lesson and experience would not have been learned, keeping me from another chance at growth.
With all the noise that goes on in our world, this silent, small voice can be drowned out, forgotten, or ignored if we allow it. This important voice helps to guide us. It connects us to our intuition. It is part of our inner compass that we call upon to help us navigate our lives, heal our past, and aid us on the path of spiritual growth. As a result, we must honor the guidance we receive. I also must practice what I preach. As much as I enjoy sharing a weekly blog with you, I must begin to cut it back a bit to a few times a month. I will continue to post on my Facebook and Instagram pages as inspiration and time allows. The writing will always continue. It is like breathing to me. Readings and my class offerings will of continue as well. I just need a little more time for reflection and my personal studies. I feel something shifting. I don’t know what it looks like or what it is. I simply know that I need to create the space for it. Thank you for your patience and continued support. It truly means the world to me!
I hope you are able to take the time as you need it. There is much healing and wisdom in the silence. You are deserving of it.
Blessed Be,
Renee Bedard, The Whispering Crow
The Whispering Crow 